


I Thought I Was Prepared, But I Wasn't

by amyt1984



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-10
Updated: 2013-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-26 04:38:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/961651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyt1984/pseuds/amyt1984
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When he met Adam Lambert, Tommy Joe Ratliff had no idea what he was in for. He thought he was prepared. But maybe he wasn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Thought I Was Prepared, But I Wasn't

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick one shot I wrote eons ago. This is fanFICTION. So no crazy hallucination on my part that any of this is, has been, or will ever be real. All of this is made up -- just crazy ramblings in my own brain. But I love the pairing. Their chemistry is worth something.

I thought I was prepared for the kiss he gave me at the American Music Awards. But when his lips crashed against mine and I felt the jolt of his electricity coursing through my veins, all I remember is desperately clinging to my keyboard as I struggled to regain my composure. My knees had never buckled at just a kiss, but maybe I had never been kissed like that. If I didn't react to it – or to him – maybe I would never be kissed like that again.

I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.

I thought I was prepared to resist the magical, magnetic pull he had over everyone whose life he touched, including mine. But when I was drawn in so effortlessly, so willingly, so completely, all I remember is wanting more and more of him until there seemed nothing left to take. Every part of his being spoke to me and set my soul on fire. There was nothing about him that I did not find intoxicating, and the more he gave, the more I wanted to have. I couldn't deny the attraction that I felt, even if I had wanted to.

I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.

I thought I was prepared to bury those unfamiliar emotions that always seemed to flare when we were at our most uninhibited. But when we fell together so fucking perfectly and I let things stir within me that I had never felt before, all I remember is scoffing at my own belief that finding your soulmate had everything to do with gender and nothing to do with compatibility. The boundaries of my own sexuality where preconceived misconceptions I had created myself. He managed to step over those boundaries and usurp the very essence of who I knew myself to be.

I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.

I thought I was prepared for the kiss he gave me before Fever in Washington D.C. But when his soft, strong fingers wrapped around my throat to tilt my face in the direction of his lips, all I remember is melting into the warmth of his tongue as it darted quickly in and out of my mouth. We had been dancing on the edge of that moment for days, touching, grinding, and flirting through the first few notes of that song to the point where my mouth would begin to water as soon as I began to play the opening riff.

I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.

I thought I was prepared for what was to become our nightly ritual at each of the Glamnation shows. But when I began to actually crave what came next and found myself silently pushing for just a little bit more, all I remember is the slow burn that encompassed my skin after each moment that we touched and the desire that spread like wildfire over every square inch of my body. And then came the realization that I wanted to take our physical connection as far as our emotional one. Having these feelings about another man scared the shit out of me, but I was powerless to resist them.

I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.

I thought I was prepared to suppress the urges that began to become heated within me. But when I felt his body so close, so near, whether onstage or off, all I remember is my desire for release became so frequent I swore the sexual tension between us would make me come in my pants. Not since I was a helpless, horny teenager touching myself behind every closed door I could find had I had such a difficult time controlling my own dick.  
I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.

I thought I was prepared for his brushoff when he felt compelled to convince everyone – including himself – that I was straight. But when his carnal denial began to affect the dynamics of our musical relationship and our emotions became too intertwined to survive on their own, all I remember is my silent plea for him to accept the improbable and embrace the inevitable. It had taken me awhile to realize what I was when I was with him and what I would be without him. Not having him became a non-option, and I had no fucking clue what I would do if he didn't give himself to me.

I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.

I thought I was prepared for the kiss he gave me in Munich, and maybe even the one that came in Paris. But when he actually manhandled me from head to toe and hauled my entire body in for the kiss, all I remember is wanting the audience to somehow disappear and for the moment to be frozen in time so I could have this amazing man all to myself for just one second. The nightly meeting of our lips was always over way too soon, and all he managed to leave me with was a feeling that I was emptier once the kiss was over than I was right before it occurred. I yearned for further contact; indeed the Fever burned in me.

I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.

I thought I was prepared to be as high as a kite in Amsterdam and still be able to keep up with what I thought he might try and dish out. But when his lips were inches from mine and he impaled my mouth with his tongue, all I remember is sinking further and further back and feeling like time – finally – was slowing down long enough for me to put my mind around what was truly going on between us. Maybe it was the thick haze of too much pot; maybe it was the line that we had finally crossed; or maybe we both actually did know what was yet to come.

I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.

I thought I was prepared for the kiss he gave me when there was no audience there to see. But when he crawled into bed with me and his mouth finally found mine in the faint darkness of the early morning light, all I remember is my cock swelling faster than it ever had before and the frantic urge to be with him right fucking now taking over my body and short circuiting my brain. The softness of his lips and the persistence of this tongue were a sharp contrast to the hardness of his own dick nestled against my thigh and the hesitance of his hands to roam up the pale expanse of my chest.

I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.

I thought I was prepared for the sight of him in nothing but the pale light of dawn. But when I found myself staring at his bare skin covered in freckles from head to toe, all I remember is wanting to lick every single one of the them and let the taste of his skin linger on my tongue forever. There was no part of him that I did not want to explore, and there was no part of me that was off limits to him. I could hardly control the frantic pounding of heart inside my chest, and it took every ounce of my self control not to smother him at that very moment.

I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.

I thought I was prepared for the surreal sensation of his naked body pressed against my own. But when we shared that physical closeness for the very first time, all I can remember is my amazement at how well we fit together, like two pieces of an uncut puzzle that were never meant to be separated at all. I could not really understand how I could feel so hot and so cold at the same time, driven by the intense heat the friction between us created; yet affected by the chills he continued to send down my spine. I was drunk from his scent; mesmerized by this touch; weakened by his taste.

I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.

I thought I was prepared for the experience of having his hands wrapped around my hardened cock. But when he began to stroke me in earnest and I felt myself begin to come apart, all I can remember is being lost in a rush of sensations I had never before experienced. Lust-filled and smitten, I clung to him, gripping his muscular arms until I swore there would be bruises neither one of us could deny. I wondered if it would feel like this with him the next time and if each time would feel like the first time.

I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.

I thought I was prepared for the intensity of my own orgasm when it first hit me. But when the pressure began to crescendo in my balls and the leaking tip of my dick began to tingle, all I can remember is a level of pleasure that was completely unreal. Wanting to prolong the inevitable, but with the intense need to just fucking come, I rocked up into his grip, and suddenly I erupted, spurting wave after wave of my hot seed onto his hand. He made my knees buckle for the second time in my life.

I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.

I thought I was prepared to make another man come apart like I had so many women before. But when I felt his rhythm slow and his thrusts became erratic, all I remember is turning my head around so I could see him in his lone moment of vulnerability, blissed out and fucked up all because of me. It was a flash of such beauty I had never laid eyes on before, but it was an image I burned to my brain that I could recall anytime I needed to feel him near. I also knew that the look on his beautiful face was one I intended to re-create for real, time and time again.

I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.

I thought I was prepared for the kiss he gave me on that first morning after. But when his lips brushed mine and I stared into his mesmerizing blue eyes, all I remember is thanking every power in the universe for giving me the chance to discover in a few short months what many people look for and never find in an entire life time. As we lay there together, hands intertwined and the sheets a tangled, knotted mess, I knew there was no other place in the world I would ever want to be instead.

I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.

I thought I was prepared to control the onslaught of my emotions when I let myself fall for him. But when he let me into his heart and completely enveloped my own, all I remember is realizing how unbelievably protected I felt surrounded by the force of his love. Anything I had ever felt for anyone before suddenly paled in comparison to the raw feelings of want, need, and totality that I felt towards this man who had completely changed my life.

I thought I was prepared, but I wasn't.  
I so fucking wasn't.


End file.
